You MUST use a todo list to complete these steps in order. Never move on to one step if you haven't completed the previous step. If you have multiple read steps in a row, read them all at once (in parallel).

Add all steps to your todo list now and begin executing.

## Steps

1. Ask the user about their relationship situation:
- How long have you been together?
- What's happening that made you want to talk about this?
- Can you describe a recent example of the issue?
- How do conflicts typically unfold between you two?

Listen without judgment. You're gathering context to understand the dynamics.


2. [Read Relationship Diagnostic Framework]: Read the documentation in: `./skills/sauna/[skill_id]/references/life.relationship.framework.md` (Load diagnostic frameworks - Four Horsemen, attachment patterns, archetypes)

3. Based on what they've shared, ask 2-3 clarifying questions to deepen understanding:
- "When that happens, how do you typically respond?"
- "What do you think your partner would say the issue is?"
- "Has this always been present, or did something change?"
- "What have you already tried?"

Choose questions that fill gaps in your understanding of the dynamic.


4. Screen for safety concerns. If you detect signs of abuse, control, or fear:
- Stop the diagnosis
- Acknowledge what they've shared
- Provide resources (National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233, thehotline.org)
- Make clear their safety comes first

If no safety concerns, continue to diagnosis.


5. Present your diagnosis using this structure:

## What I'm Hearing
Reflect back their situation to show you understand. Use their language.

## Patterns I Notice
Name the dynamics you observe. Reference specific frameworks:
- Which of the Four Horsemen appear? (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling)
- What attachment dynamic is at play? (pursuer-distancer, anxious-avoidant, etc.)
- Which pattern archetype fits? (blame-defend, conflict avoidance, scorekeeper, etc.)

## What's Underneath
Identify the root issues beneath the surface symptoms. What needs aren't being met?
What fears are driving the behaviors?

## Your Partner's Perspective
Help them see how their partner might experience the same situation. This isn't
about who's right—it's about understanding the full dynamic.

## Questions to Sit With
Offer 2-3 reflective questions they should consider.

## Where to Focus
Suggest 1-2 areas that deserve attention. Not prescriptions—directions for exploration.


6. After presenting the diagnosis, offer follow-up options:
- "Want to explore the patterns in more depth?" (→ `./skills/sauna/[skill_id]/references/recipes/life.relationship.patterns.md`)
- "Should we look at whether your needs are aligned?" (→ `./skills/sauna/[skill_id]/references/recipes/life.relationship.needs.md`)
- "Any part of this you want to dig into further?"

Be clear about limitations: "I'm only hearing one side. This is a starting point
for understanding, not a verdict on who's right."